My first week here in Fort Worth I went to church with my husband. He had been there before and was excited to return now that I had moved into town. I walked in and bee-lined for the bathrooms (as I usually did when attending church so that I would not have to interact with anyone before the service began) but I stopped short when I realized the service had already begun. I turned to comment to my husband about where to sit, when I realized I had left him at the front door where a greeter had welcomed him and I (unbeknown to me because of my one track mind). I back stepped and returned her friendly smile. Soon I was greeted by several other women and we entered the sanctuary as they helped us find a seat. The pastor was standing in the back and recognizing my husband pointed to me and gave that look of "you're the person I'm thinking you are...right?". He assured me he was glad that I was there and had a book he wanted to give me before I left that day. After an entire service without and anxiety attack we stayed in the loby long enough to meet some people from the young adults group and get invited to their home that evening (and we actually went and enjoyed it). As he sped through the crowd in the loby, greeting and smiling at members of his congregation, pastor again assured me not to leave without seeing him first. After our conversation with the young couples was through he brought me this book:
Mad Church Disease by: Anne Jackson
My eyes filled up with tears as I received a gift from this complete stranger who knew nothing about me except that I had once been in ministry and now had a hard time even attending church (and what ever other details my husband had previously shared with him). It felt like the beginning of hope.
Three weeks later it remains on the pile of papers next to our bed.
Tonight I finally picked it up. I have only read the first section, but it sounds as if I could have written the back story. Now to find out what the end of her story looks like,
because right now I could use some hope and revelation in mine.
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